Internet-based snark since 2007.
BIG SWINGING BALL(s)! Sorry, but I mean… In voiceover our Bachelor Art points out that there are some of the Bachelorette’s he hasn’t got to know very well so he’d better do something about that if he’s going to figure out if one of them is his dream girl (looks off into mid-distance (BINGO)). It’s…
This episode opens with our usual thoughtful plinky-plonk piano music and Art running on a beach. Art is very big on beach running. It would actually be much better if they just subbed in the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme for these opening bits, I feel.
Before we dive into the latest episode’s shenanigans I must address an issue that’s come up in the last week or so, namely that several bachelorettes have started reading these recaps. I know.
Is it wrong that I’m still annoyed that this has to be on twice a week? Anyway, as per usual we get a rundown on what happened last episode as well as a teaser of tonight’s offering. It’s morning and Art is enjoying a run on the beach but there’s no TORSO, only GUNS.
Has it only been a week since this kicked off? It feels so much longer. I guess measuring time in TORSO units, it’s about 3 months?
Holy shit is this thing on AGAIN? Ah crap. Why did I say I’d do this? Well let’s plow in then. We begin with the obligatory “what just happened” montage followed by a “what’s about to happen montage”.
Okay. Confession time. I know I promised you the recaps but last night when I looked at the TV schedule and realised that the first episode of The Bachelor was on for AN HOUR AND A HALF I nearly bailed then and there.