Internet-based snark since 2007.
This episode opens with our usual thoughtful plinky-plonk piano music and Art running on a beach. Art is very big on beach running. It would actually be much better if they just subbed in the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme for these opening bits, I feel.
Before we dive into the latest episode’s shenanigans I must address an issue that’s come up in the last week or so, namely that several bachelorettes have started reading these recaps. I know.
Is it wrong that I’m still annoyed that this has to be on twice a week? Anyway, as per usual we get a rundown on what happened last episode as well as a teaser of tonight’s offering. It’s morning and Art is enjoying a run on the beach but there’s no TORSO, only GUNS.
Has it only been a week since this kicked off? It feels so much longer. I guess measuring time in TORSO units, it’s about 3 months?
Holy shit is this thing on AGAIN? Ah crap. Why did I say I’d do this? Well let’s plow in then. We begin with the obligatory “what just happened” montage followed by a “what’s about to happen montage”.
Okay. Confession time. I know I promised you the recaps but last night when I looked at the TV schedule and realised that the first episode of The Bachelor was on for AN HOUR AND A HALF I nearly bailed then and there.