Internet-based snark since 2007.
Hi. It’s been a little while since I last wrote. There are a few reasons for that, which if you’re interested, you can read about on my website. But for today I’d like to talk about toddlers, specifically the way in which they are like Joe Pesci (it’s not just that they’re short with high-pitched…
It is the height of foolishness to fall in love with a literary character.
It is the mid-1990s. I am an undergraduate humanities student at the University of Canterbury. One of my favourite pastimes involves sitting in the subterranean depths of the Mac Lab under the main library building wearing a stone wash denim jacket emblazoned with a small X-Files badge I got free with a comic book and indulging…
So I’ve been doing recaps of The Bachelor episodes for a few weeks now and I’ve had tonnes of positive feedback from people about them. But I’m not going to be doing them any more.
BIG SWINGING BALL(s)! Sorry, but I mean… In voiceover our Bachelor Art points out that there are some of the Bachelorette’s he hasn’t got to know very well so he’d better do something about that if he’s going to figure out if one of them is his dream girl (looks off into mid-distance (BINGO)). It’s…
This episode opens with our usual thoughtful plinky-plonk piano music and Art running on a beach. Art is very big on beach running. It would actually be much better if they just subbed in the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme for these opening bits, I feel.
Before we dive into the latest episode’s shenanigans I must address an issue that’s come up in the last week or so, namely that several bachelorettes have started reading these recaps. I know.
Is it wrong that I’m still annoyed that this has to be on twice a week? Anyway, as per usual we get a rundown on what happened last episode as well as a teaser of tonight’s offering. It’s morning and Art is enjoying a run on the beach but there’s no TORSO, only GUNS.
Has it only been a week since this kicked off? It feels so much longer. I guess measuring time in TORSO units, it’s about 3 months?