It’s a long time ago now, but I once worked in hospitality.
It’s an unusual industry. Ostensibly you’re there to serve food and drinks but a large part of your job is keeping the general atmosphere enjoyable and, for lack of a better word, “jolly”. You try to make sure no-one’s waiting too long, and if they are waiting they’re more or less relaxed enough about it that it’s not a problem. Working in a pub, as I did, you were expected to “socialise” with the punters to a degree. To keep them happy. To be friendly and accommodating.
I quite enjoyed this part of the job and I’m sure it helped me a lot in my confidence in interacting with people. Working behind a bar sometimes felt like being on stage in that there’s a certain performative aspect to it. At the end of a busy shift you’d feel drained from being “on” the whole time. All the smiling, and the “alright, mate? Another pint?” and pretending to give a crap about the football was tiring. I loved it, but you felt like you earned your money most days.
And then there were the customers. Many of whom were lovely. But every now and then you’d get someone who overstepped boundaries. There’s something about the task of serving people food and beverages that somehow invites a certain kind of person to think very little of you. I’m not sure why. I guess because it’s low paying and doesn’t require much training. Being a barmaid doesn’t command the kind of respect that being a neurosurgeon does, for obvious reasons. But there’s a world of difference between showing someone less respect than you would a highly trained medical professional … and showing them none at all.
For my own part, I think I got off lightly. Apart from innumerable unsolicited, often leery comments about my boobs, an occasional misplaced “your eyes remind me of the deserts in my country”*, or the time that guy out of nowhere asked me if I was pregnant, I didn’t suffer too badly. But I saw some decidedly uncool behaviour, often from besuited men definitely old enough to know better.
Most of these people never got pulled up on it because they were “good customers” or because it was just easier not to. It’s easier not to have that awkward conversation in which you school another adult who is old enough to be your dad in what is “appropriate” behaviour. Nobody wants to do that. It is a thankless task. Especially when part of your job is to make everybody feel welcome and happy.
Luckily for me, I come equipped with The Look™ and it has stood me in good stead. Deploying The Look™ can be an effective way of avoiding awkward conversations because The Look™ says everything that you’re not allowed to say, specifically: “This thing that you have done displeases me and you had better fix it quickly or get gone.”
Like many gifts, I have little control over it. The Look™ just kind of appears when the context calls for it, and it disappears just as quickly when the crisis has passed. Like Superman.
Not everyone is blessed with this capacity, of course. And there are some superhumans who are impervious to its powers. These people are not to be trusted. And they most certainly shouldn’t be the Prime Minister. Because if you’re the sort of dude who honestly can’t tell when you’re being an annoying, boundary-crossing boor, then you for damn sure should not be anywhere near international diplomacy or trade agreement negotiations, or, just people, generally. You’re probably only good for tele-conferencing, currency trading, or … golf.
How you treat the people who serve you says a lot about you as a person. I’ve always contended that everyone should work for a while in either hospitality or retail (I’ve done both) because it gives you an appreciation of how hard those jobs can be.
I never, ever want to be someone’s “nightmare customer” and I hope I behave in a way that means I won’t be. But clearly not everybody is on board with that notion. Which is pretty silly, because why would you mess with the people who bring you your food and drink?
Are you assuming they’re not going to “accidentally” sneeze into your latte when you’re not looking? Because I don’t think that’s something you can definitely count on.
Have you ever worked in hospitality or retail and had a pest of a customer? What is it with these people?
*This is a direct quote. He was quite drunk and it eventuated he used the very same line on no less than two of my workmates. *shakes head*
Originally published on Stuff, 28/04/2015
(Feature image, Coin de café-concert, Eduoard Manet, public domain image via Wikipedia)