Well, last week was pretty action-packed, what with the Alamo-esque stand-offs, the insight into the twisted head of Odin Quincannon, pet murder, and an overriding mission statement that’s starting to look a lot like “God. What the fuck use is he?”
Mysteries of subterranean machinery remain, and Jesse’s relationship with the town, God, and everyone looks to have changed irrevocably.
This episode is called “Finish the song” and I have no idea at all what that might mean, so pass the bottle (of communion wine) and let’s get started.
We open with a shot of the Star-spangled banner, but it’s few stars short of the 21st century so we’re back in the land of the Cowboy, and sure enough, that banner yet waves o’er the land of the free (as long as you ain’t no injun) and the home of the Ratwaterites.
Hmmm, didn’t some assholes from this town indirectly cause the death of the Cowboy’s family? And didn’t we last see him loading up on guns? I doubt he’ll bring his friends and it’s not fun to lose and to pretend actually, Kurt Cobain. (sorry, just gave myself an earworm, please bear with while I get it out of my system)
An ominous shadow falls against the window of the schoolhouse… Uh oh.
In the wretched hive of scum an villainy known as the Ratwater Saloon, a Chinese man is singing a lovely song, which knowing this show, is actually about infanticide. If only I’d kept up with my Mandarin classes, I might be able to tell you. Unfortunately the only words I can make out are “a” and “we”, so that’s not much help.
His solo is interrupted by the arrival of the Cowboy, who remains silent as he is welcomed by the chubby pioneer child last seen in Episode 5, and the Preacher, who we know is “Head Dick”, does a nice little monologue about how they have no standards and anyone is welcome, even The Butcher of Gettysburg… if you declare your love for Jesus.
Did I mention our Cowboy friend is carrying a cloth bag with something bleedy inside it?
I sure hope he doesn’t, oh, I don’t know, throw a bunch of severed heads across the floor.
DUDE.
I really hope those weren’t decapitated children’s heads. It was kind of hard to tell. I’m going to tell myself they weren’t because that makes things less ick for me.
The Preacher asks what the Cowboy wants. He shoots the Preacher and says he wants the singer to finish the song. So the Chinese man keeps singing, while literally everyone in the saloon dies. Even unarmed, hands in the air, women. Everyone. He breathes a sigh of relief as he seems to have escaped the slaughter…only to get decapitated out of nowhere.
A storm comes into town with the force of an earthquake. No, seriously, the sound effects in this segment got my quake-panic rising slightly. The combination of glass rattles and low frequency rumble did it. Meanwhile, the Cowboy sits at the bar and pours himself a drink.
In the modern day we pick up where the last episode left off – with Jesse in the back of a police cruiser driven by Sheriff Root.
Apparently Jesse has been completely truthful about the whereabouts of Eugene and in response his father tells Jesse about what kind of treatment child-killers get in jail. Taking this to heart, Jesse decides, all things being equal, he’d rather wouldn’t be here than Philadelphia, and exits the moving vehicle, because apparently if you’re transporting a prisoner you don’t put the child-locks on in the backseat.
I take it back. It appears Jesse jammed a pen into the car door so the lock never fully engaged. I wonder if it’s the pen he was supposed to sign over the church to Quincannon with?
It’s a rainy night and our angel double-act make their way to a travel agency that looks like it’s stuck in 1972. They want to go even further south than Tasmania. To Hell actually, and apparently this is the kind of travel agency you can book that trip with. Incredible.
This scene, because of the paperwork involved, reminds me a bit of the afterlife as portrayed in the movie Beetlejuice. Forms must be filled in. Details must be captured, such as occupation (serial killer and architect – I found this particularly hilarious). Their payment might not be enough but travel agent lady is willing to do a deal for 20 minutes out back with Fiore but Deblanc gets him out of it with a “dob us and we’ll dob you” threat.
Emily arrives at Casa O’Hare, and Tulip says she’s called Ems over because Cassidy isn’t healing. So apparently Brewski died in vain? Well that sucks…but also, whoa, is Emily about to become brunch?
Tulip straight out tells her what Cassidy is and poor Emily has the best, most appropriate reaction but tries to be cool, because she doesn’t want Tulip to be right about how uptight she is.
So Tulip’s been trying to feed him on a menagerie of small animals but the quantities are insufficient apparently, and she needs Emily to babysit. Emily takes this all in stride and tries to tell Tulip about Jesse’s current shitstorm but Ms O’Hare is NOT INTERESTED. Emily can have him. She’s done.
And this bit is the best, because Emily kind of, sort of shows off to Tulip that she has a boyfriend already, he’s the Mayor? Totally cool guy. A real catch. Khaki. Ginger. ALL-A-THAT.
And where’s Tulip going? Oh, she’s going to kill a man in Albuquerque. As you do.
Elsewhere, under an overpass or bridge somewhere, Jesse dines on a pancake breakfast with a nice homeless couple. He doesn’t really think he’s going to bring God himself to church on Sunday, does he? Cause that’s kind of crazy. He does. And these are mighty fine pancakes, Jackie. There’s a nice comic inversion in this scene with the homeless couple looking sort of concerned for this former pillar of the community. They may be living under a bridge but at least they’ve got all their marbles…and pancakes.
Back at Cassidy’s House of Pet-snacks, Emily cradles a gerbil on one shoulder and talks to an annoying squeaky rodent of a different kind at the other – Miles is just checking in to let her know he’ll be staying over at hers tonight, properly like. He’s delighted and his laugh is like the sound of two balloons rubbing together but Emily barely notices since she’s a touch perturbed by the noises coming from Cassidy’s room.
She carefully opens the door, lets the gerbil in and closes it behind her. At the sounds of violent rodent death she takes a peak inside and sees a feral and decidedly raw looking Cassidy. She’s terrified and slams the door shut.
At the Sundowner Motel Fiore and Deblanc are packing for their trip. The place looks like an abattoir due to the violent hijinks of episode 6 and there’s some suggestion that the Seraph is still somehow alive, as Fiore says he’s leaving the radio on “for her”. I don’t know how that could be possible, but okay.
Meanwhile Deblanc’s having second thoughts. Maybe they should just call Heaven and fess up to everything? But that would mean they’d be separated forever and…wait, are these guys a couple?
I feel like a idiot for not thinking of that earlier.
Okay, so Heaven or Hell? They toss a coin to decided, don’t like the answer they get and toss again. Yay, call Heaven. No Hell for them. Except…the phone, which was under the bed, has gone. So Hell becomes their only option.
Outside, we see our Preacher on the run, with the phone in question. Because how do you get someone to come to your big party on Sunday? You call them, of course! Or do a Facebook event, but maybe God doesn’t have a Facebook account (he seems like more of a Snapchat kind of guy, anyway)
Emily is still on Cassidy duty and is watching Psycho, because her day hasn’t been frightening enough? It’s a really clever scene in which we hear Norman Bates and his soon to be victim, Marion Crane discuss the traps that people find themselves in, sometimes walk right into. And you can see Emily considering her life, and the little box of ever narrowing choices she finds herself limited to – and the horror of it is plain on her face.
A horror of a different kind breaks her out of her introspection as Cassidy cries out in hunger. Emily puts down the bunny she was cradling and goes to him.
Odin Quincannon’s office has become an impromptu fighting pit.
Mayor Miles is pulled away from the entertainment by a call from Emily, who’s pleading for help because “he got out”, and he’s going to kill her. She’s at Walter O’Hare’s house.
And that all seems just a bit too obvious. Something is definitely up with that situation. Because I smell a trap.
Miles arrives at the O’Hare house and wanders through it calling for Emily. He steps into Cassidy’s room…and Emily slams the door shut on him. He bangs at it to be let out but she’s bolted it. She stands and listens as he fights for his life.
Stone. Cold.
Holy shit, Emily. I know Miles is kind of a tosser, but still…
Speaking of bloodbaths, someone at the Sundowner has finally noticed that there’s been one in Fiore and Deblanc’s room. The Sheriff investigates and finds the Seraph in an icebath with both arms and legs missing. She asks him to kill her, of course, but he assures her an ambulance is on the way. He says all the right, calming things and then…he strangles her to death.
I mean, is there anyone in this town who isn’t a cold-blooded murderer? Because even the church organist just offed her boyfriend. So I’m guessing Mr Whippy is a cannibal and the kindergarten teacher makes snuff films?
In the Sheriff’s case you could claim it’s a mercy killing, but he was pretty into it. Predictably the Seraph materialises right behind him, and goes off to find her quarry.
…Who are at the side of the road waiting for their “Distant Vistas” pick up. In a shuttle bus. To Hell.
Given that their trip is an infernal one, it seems fitting that they should, at the last moment, be informed by an uninterested driver that they’re not allowed carry-on luggage. Fiore’s gutted to leave his comics, but Deblanc very sweetly says to leave them. Awwwhh. They are so cute. These guys have really grown on me, I have to admit it.
Back at the house of horrors, Emily takes two guinea pigs outside to set them free. Being guinea pigs, they have little interest in exploring the great outdoors. Ungrateful sods. Jesse turns up in a rather disheveled state and asks where Tulip is, to which the answer, of course is Albuquerque.
And, I really resisted the urge to link to this song earlier, but now I really can’t help myself.
But anyway, she has to be going. She’s got to pick the kids up from school since Miles, who was going to be doing it, is indisposed. Or in Cassidy. Same difference.
This is the least interested Emily has even been towards Jesse, ever. Usually she would be all concerned about him and so on, but things to do! Gotta be off.
Jesse seems a little perturbed but heads inside to the stench of death and a mayoral corpse. Cassidy warns him off, and even having drained Miles, he’s still in moderately bad shape.
Jesse is confronted with what he let happen to Cassidy, and he doesn’t shy away from it this time. He owns it. And Cassidy’s seen the dark side of Jesse too. But he’s willing to forgive because Jesse did actually put him out with that fire extinguisher, it turns out. It’s a lovely semi-burned vampire-fallen preacher kind of moment.
So much so that Cassidy suggest they shag, but Jesse reckon’s they should dispose of the body together because that’s what friendship is. Awwh, if they could do it while holding hands and skipping I would thrilled beyond words.
Odin Quincannon is busy gloating about his success. Jesse may be AWOL, but he’ll been in church on Sunday and he’ll denounce God for the lie that he is. In other news, it seems that Donnie may be getting his hearing back some. So good for him.
Cassidy, is still a bloody mess to look at, and he’s checking out the Holy-blower. And it doesn’t work, padre. Which is when Jesse remembers that you have to have angel hands to make it work. But no problem, Cassidy can get him those.
I mean, there are travel agents where you can book a trip to Hell, so purveyors of angel hands, not a problem, I guess? Though, actually, Cassidy has buried some angel body parts recently, so maybe that’s not so much of a stretch.
Jesse calls Tulip and leaves her a message. He ate pancakes for breakfast and it reminded him of her, and that time she ordered M&M pancakes. But the moral of the story is really, that for him, there’s only her…til the end of the world. There’s a genuine tenderness in his voice when he says it, so he’s making amends to wounded parties a bit this episode. About bloody time.
As he’s leaving this message, Tulip is enjoying the view. Namely of Carlos, bound and gagged. She has a meat tenderiser in her hand, but she’s gathered an impressive array of tools and implements. Not a good time to be Carlos, guys.
We get a return to the Cowboy’s story. This time we get a shorter version, of everything we’ve seen up until now, but essentially the same. This feels a little unnecessary but maybe that’s because I never wanted to see those crows pecking at the child’s body again. I’m funny that way. We get treated to the carnage at the saloon again but in fast forward, and oh yes, there’s that earthquakey storm front coming in too. All the fun things.
And then we go through it again. An even quicker, more truncated version. And again. Over and over. Is this Hell? Purgatory?
Two men pick their way through the bodies on the floor of the saloon. It’s Fiore and Deblanc, so yes, this is Hell. They offer the Cowboy a way out. They’ve got a job for him. In response he shoots, Deblanc. And I’m suddenly really concerned that since they’re in Hell he might be properly dead. But Fiore holds it together enough to tell him they want him to kill a Preacher, and that certainly does appeal to him.
Cue Big Weather.
As the vista changes to the modern day our focus stays on the tree decorated with swinging injun corpses and we learn that Annville is basically Ratwater. So it’s had bad juju since forever.
Jesse and Cassidy bond over the exhumation of angel bodies, and their hands. They then dump the mayor in the hole with a dead dog and assorted pets, and generally have a good time reconnecting in a way that a bit of manual labour performed together often achieves.
I like how the dark and bizarre factor has really ramped up in this episode and how thin the veneer of civility in Annville has become. Questions still abound as to what Heavenly confrontation, if any, awaits at Sunday service. It seems likely the arrival of The Cowboy in Annville will be explosive and deadly. It begs the question if there’s any such thing as an “innocent” bystander in this literally god-forsaken town.
With reference to the name of the episode it seems like Tulip might be about to end Carlos’ “song” and Emily definitely ended Miles’. And maybe Fiore and Deblanc have hit pause on the Cowboy’s hellish earworm-like melody of murder?
Will there be a touching reunion between Jesse and Tulip? Will Emily ditch the Mom-jeans and start wearing clothes that actually look nice now that she’s free from her trap? Or will she, like a startled guinea pig, just carry on as normal?
See you in church.
PS. I entered a quiz this week and our team name was The Tulip O’Hares and we totally kicked ass.
Wearing this to work tomorrow. #winner pic.twitter.com/dHKpAkBhrM
— Moata Tamaira (@MoataTamaira) July 26, 2016