It is the height of foolishness to fall in love with a literary character.
For one thing, they never call. Nor do they do thoughtful things like put a hot water bottle in your side of the bed and wrap your pyjamas around it on a cold night. The only candlelit dinner you can share with one is the kind you make yourself, and they are downright useless when it comes to heavy lifting or stacking firewood.
The Bachelor may seem greedy with his harem of girlfriends but literary boyfriends are even worse. You have to share them with thousands of people, not to mention the actual heroine of the piece.
I found myself thinking about my favourite literary crush with the news that Jonathan Crombie, who played Gilbert Blythe in the Anne of Green Gables TV series, had recently died at the relatively young age of 48.
Twelve-year-old me was deeply, deeply in love with Mr Crombie/Gilbert. Even now, I put my preference for a man in a nice tweed flat cap down to him.
Jonathan Crombie in the TV series was my first experience of Gilbert Blythe but I very soon afterwards sought out and devoured every Anne of Green Gables or Avonlea book available (fortunately there were many). I read all the Anne Shirley and Gilbert I could get my hands on.
Did I love Gilbert for how he was written or was it Jonathan Crombie’s wry grin, complete with dimples? I expect it was a healthy dose of both. Apparently Crombie beat out Jason Priestley for the role, and I simply cannot imagine “Gil” being played as well by “the man would be Brandon Walsh”. At all. So perhaps there was a strong “Crombie factor” at work.
In my mind Jonathan Crombie IS Gilbert Blythe, to the extent that when I heard of his death my first thought was “Oh, poor Anne”. Which completely ignores such relevant facts as a) Anne and Gilbert had a long and happy life together b) 100 years ago and c) neither of them have ever been real.
Obviously it’s been very confusing figuring out how I feel about this. Especially since Crombie was so young. I find it astonishing that the man that played Gilbert Blythe is no longer with us yet Foster and Allen are not only alive but still touring. Those guys were old when I was in primary school so they must have some kind of heritage status by now.
But where was I? Ah, yes. Dear, sweet Gilbert. I put it to you that of all the possible literary boyfriends that have come and gone over the years, Gilbert Blythe is the best.
Reasons Gilbert Blythe is the best literary boyfriend ever
Hotness – Gilbert could hold his own against all comers up to and including Mr Darcy, Christian Grey, Edward Cullen and The Dread Pirate Roberts/Westley. Did I mention the dimples?
Intelligence – Anne is the heroine of the books and is fiercely intelligent but Gilbert is every bit her equal, to the extent that they tie for first place in academic competition. Anne pursues writing while Gilbert studies medicine and becomes a doctor. A hot doctor. A hot doctor that can handle a horse and buggy.
Good in an emergency – Gilbert has a knack for being in the right place at the right time with the correct mode of transport to help solve a problem. Whether he’s in a rowboat while you’re clinging to a bridge piling or simply there to lend a hand when you’re stuck in a muddy bog, Gil is the guy you need to help you out of a bind. And he won’t be a dick about it either. Well, maybe just a little bit but you probably deserved it.
Supportive – Some guys want to be the one getting all the glory and find it difficult to let the lady in their lives shine. Not so, Gilbert. He was always supportive of Anne’s ambitions and encouraged her to be and do more. He revelled in her success. Your boyfriend should be your biggest fan.
Normal and affable – Edward Cullen, Darcy and Christian Grey are all antisocial to some extent. Even Westley’s a bit arrogant and threatens violence against the woman he loves (always sits a bit uncomfortably with me, that bit). But Gilbert Blythe is a perfectly normal, well-rounded character who doesn’t have any “dark secrets” or trauma or previously kidnapped younger sisters or any of that kind of nonsense. He’s just good, honest folk. Maybe that sounds boring but when it comes to boyfriends do you want to be in A&E every Saturday night because he got in a fight with his “nemesis” or do you want to be parked up on the couch watching a Marvel movie? Because I know which one I’d pick.
Friendly banter – Gilbert thought the world of Anne but wasn’t sycophantic about it. He countered her fiery declarations with wry humour and just the right amount of amused teasing. Because being polite and courteous is one thing, being a doormat quite another.
Loyalty – Damn, girl. He’s been in love with you forever and you just turned down his marriage proposal. Yeah, he’ll respect your choice (because he’s not a jerk) but if you ever change your mind he’ll still be yours for the taking because THIS IS THE REAL DEAL and he knows it even if you don’t.
So I put it to you, dear readers, that Gilbert Blythe is the unsung king of literary boyfriends – charming, patient, and loving, he’s the kind of guy who’ll help a girl reach for the stars rather than trying to reach them for her.
Oh Gilbert, if it weren’t for Anne, and the geographic and temporal distance, and the fact that you’re fictional … I really think we could have made a go of it.
What do you think? Does Gilbert Blythe deserve the top spot for literary crushes? Were you similarly gutted by the news of Jonathan Crombie’s passing?
Originally published on Stuff, 21/04/2015
(Featured image of girl reading, public domain via Pixabay)